Brittany Voss was born to a family of travelling acrobats in the Blue Hill Mountains of the Serengeti. From a young age it was clear that she had immense talent and ambition and so it is that she now considers herself an accomplished 'triple-threat'. Her varied accolades and awards include: a diploma in cat confusing, three gold stars in mid-air basket weaving and a black belt in going 'do-dee-do' through the middle of toilet roll tubes.

All in all, Brittany's life has been a hair-raising, thrill-a-minute chase through the mean streets of Chicago. Critic Roger Ebert called it 'a tour de force of 70s neo-noir, with a subtle nod to the films of Peckinpah' before he called security and had me thrown out of his office.

Brittany would like to thank her family and friends for all the love and support, and Homeless Ron Jeremy for scaring the bejeezus out of her. She hopes that life with Ash will become a successful Broadway musical but with less swearing than Avenue Q.

Ash Hawthorne is an accomplished Lobster Wrestler and Underwater Hanglider Pilot. He was the youngest of 700 brothers and is prone to exaggeration. He met Brittany while he was starring as Pip in the acclaimed British Farce 'That's My Halibut' at the Savoy Grill, Roehampton. 

Despite tragically losing his original first name - Robert - at the tender age of 33 1/3, Ash has nonetheless attained the very pinnacle of success in pointing things out and saying 'erm' a lot. He holds dear the advice given to him after a chance meeting with Steven Spielberg, "get out of the way, kid! You're in the shot!"

Ash would like to thank his family, friends, his cat Domino and Steve McQueen for helping him get to this immensely important point in his life. Although what Brittany sees in him is anyone's guess.