I can't possibly count the number of times I have said "untraditional", "unconventional" or "it's not a reception but a party", during the course of planning.  I continue to repeat myself because I truly do not want the same type of celebration that most brides want.  I really do want everyone to wear white so that I don't stick out as much.  I really do think the most important aspects are the DJ and the drinks.  And I really don't mind that the ceremony is incorporated into the party. 

However, as I have learned, it is really hard to convince others that it's ok to deviate from wedding tradition.  It seems that our society has been so trained to see weddings in one way that planning something different is very difficult.  Weddings are like the Bermuda Triangle for unique thought.  No matter how hard you fight against the current, you are sucked into what is viewed as traditional and acceptable! 

Pete and I had discussed the traditions that we planned to keep and the traditions that we just don't care about.  For example, we are not having a wedding cake.  For starters, neither of us really care for cake.  Also, neither of us care for the tradition of smashing cake in each others mouths.  So, why bother with a cake?  But, I am a sweet tooth kind of girl, so we must have something!  Instead of cake we will have a table full of different types of desserts.  Perfect!

Unfortunately, although Pete and I originally agreed on the traditions that we would forego.  He has been sucked into the Wedding Bermuda Triangle!  He just asked me yesterday about the first dance as Hubs and Wife. . .yea. . .you mean the first dance that we said we were not going to do?  This is not the only request he has made that falls more in line with tradition than unconventional. 

I can only say. . .thank God this wedding is in 9 days and pray that I will be able to withstand the pull of traditional wedding customs for these last few days!

It seemed like a really good idea getting scuba certified before the wedding so that our honeymoon could be centered around that.  However, it turned into a major stress trying to find the time to get it done. . . .as if we don't have enough going on with planning a wedding in 7 weeks! 

We somehow found the time to study, to practice and to complete our open water.  In true Pete and Annie fashion, this was not without humor.  As usual, Pete went into the whole thing very passionate about getting it done right.  Then realized that he is slammed at work and he asked me to read the book and watch the video and fill him in on the important stuff.  Hmm. . .really????  This sounds like a safe way to begin!

Day one in the pool was going along quite well.  It was made so much easier because the instructor came to our house and we did a full day of training in our pool.   Super easy!  We learned about our equipment, we did endurance tests and finally we got in the pool with gear.  The instructor had us spend some time getting used to the idea of breathing underwater and she taught us skills that will help us in the water.  One thing in particular she wanted us to master was what to do if one of our tanks doesn't work.  All problems that happen underwater need to be solved underwater.  The challenge was that we had to pretend that my tank didn't have air and his secondary regulator wasn't working, forcing us to share his regulator.  What you are supposed to do is he will take a breath, give me the regulator for 3 counts then take it back for 3 counts, going back and forth as we ascend to the surface.  It began correctly, he took his breath, gave it to me, I took 3 breaths and he took it back.  I'm not sure what he did then, he may have taken a nap. . .maybe ate a snack. . .I don't know but he held that regulator for WAY too long and I ran out of air and shot to the surface.  FAIL!  He got reprimanded by the instructor for not sharing and I got reprimanded for not solving the problem underwater.  Ok, ok. . .we obviously need more practice working together!

Day two was our open water. . . we felt way more confident about our ability to work together and we were ready to tackle the ocean.  We boated out to a dive site called Coral Garden. . . I'll tell you to not waste your time diving here, water was cloudy and coral could only be described as "eh".  But it was a means to an end. . .

Our instructor had loaned us all the gear we needed in order to get certified but unfortunately she didn't have a BC that was my size so I was diving with a BC that was too big.  Just so you know, the BC is the "vest" that provides bouancy and holds the air tank.    Because my BC was too big, as we descended and began moving around underwater, my airtank would "flop" around causing me to list to whichever side it fell to.  Pete, having learned from our EPIC FAIL on day one, was trying to be more nurturing and caring underwater so he would swim behind me and hold my tank to keep it from flopping around.  However, whenever he would grab the tank, it would slide up and hit me in the head.  This happened repeatedly!  I was suffering a head injury because of his helping hands.  You can't really talk underwater so I had no way of telling him to knock it off!  Really, just to get the certification over with, I was not going to complain.   And aside from my mild concussion, the day was a success and we are now officially scuba certified! 

Honeymoon. . . .here we come!  

We have all heard the expression that you don't just marry your other half, you marry their family too.  In going into this situation, Pete and I had discussed that we would not label him as the kids "step dad". I never cared for the "step" term, it felt too wishy washy. . . like you are kind of a part of the family, but not really.  I don't think my kids need anything wishy-washy in their lives.  I want them to have an average ~ dad, mom and 2 kids kind of family.   We decided to tell the kids that they are lucky enough to have 2 dads. . .one in heaven to always watch over them and one on earth to be there everyday for them. 

I was fortunate that Pete felt the same way, he wants to be their dad and he wants to raise them with me.  But I didn't know where Pete's parents would fit into this vision.  Did they see the kids as my kids?  Did they want to be involved?  Did they not have a preference one way or the other?

I spent the day with my soon to be mother in law yesterday and I must tell you. . .it was a great day because she is a fun person to hang out with!  Throughout the course of talking wedding stuff, up popped the conversation of their role.  She had told me that she doesn't want to step on anyone's toes, but she and John would like to be an additional set of grandparents to the kids.  She would like for them to be comfortable in her home just as they would be in my mom's home.  She said that the kids can call them John and Caryl or they can call them grandma and grandpa.  How awesome to find a man that wants to raise my kids and to have his parents excited about being involved too?

During dinner, I brought it up to the family to get their thoughts on the "new grandparents".  Pete didn't seem too surprised by it, perhaps he and his parents had already discussed it?  I told the kids that they are lucky enough to have 3 sets of grandparents!  Now. . .what child does not want extra grandparents?  A major part of the grandparent job description is to spoil!

We are still working on what to call them. . .we have some idea's but they haven't been approved yet.  We know that John will be Dotch, that is what the other grandkids call him.  Caryl is Mimi to the other grandkids  and my kids already have a Mimi.  We did like Minnie. . .close to Mimi and his mom is about 4 feet tall and weighs in at about 7 pounds. . .in other words, she is mini!  I'll let you know if that is what we end up going with.  It is exciting that we get to be having this conversation.

I feel so thankful to know that the 3 McFarland's are being accepted into this family.  I think I may have teared up when talking to Caryl because it is exactly what I had been hoping for.  God has blessed me with a fabulous man to spend the rest of my life with and an incredible new family for me and the children.  This truly is the answer to my prayers!

 

We are less than 3 weeks until the wedding. . .you know the funny thing is that we have only gone through 3 weeks of planning to get here but it feels like it has been forever that we have been planning.  Could you imagine if we picked a date a year away. . .

Someone made the comment recenly that if this was meant to be than everything would just fall into place.  I wasn't sure if I should be offended that there was a thought that maybe this wasn't supposed to be but I chose instead to focus on the everything falling into place part. 

The dress worked out beautifully, the honeymoon is booked and the marriage license is in our possession.  That all worked out very smoothly.  But when thinking about a "reception", there are 2 vitally important parts.  These are the only things that people will remember about your wedding, the alcohol and the DJ.  This could be one reason why I don't understand why people spend THOUSANDS on weddings. . . I guess my wedding will be the case study.  Do you really need the $5,000 dress, flowers, huge bridal parties and massive excess to have a great wedding or is it really about the drinks and dancing?  Whenever I think back the weddings I have been to, I simply remember the party after. . .did we dance all night or were we bored?  Did I admire the centerpieces or did I laugh and dance with my friends?  Did I spend the evening oohing and ahhing over the brides bouquet or did I bust out the sprinkler dance move after a couple glasses of wine?  I think we all know the answers to that.  Now, this is in no way trying to criticize those who want a big traditional wedding with all the customary accoutrements.  That just isn't what my dream day consists of. . .and as you will see in three weeks, I am trying so hard to stay away from traditional.

Anyway. . .I got off track. . .back to the importance of the DJ.  In the above line of thinking, the DJ was a HUGE (if you are in SWFL, I know you just said that the Kia way) part of my party.  And in Last Minute Annie fashion, I finally started thinking about it this week.  But. . .everything just fell into place because of my amazing fiance.  Big surprise, he knew a guy. . .doesn't he always seem to know a guy?  His guy happens to be the DJ for Burn (again, those in SWFL know Burn), so I am thinking this is going to be a good party.  I haven't thought about the food yet. . .there will be food there, but I want you all to remember the DJ and how much fun we have.  That is my most important focus for the night, truly celebrating with those we love!

Thank God for everything fallling into place. . .is that my reassurance that this marriage is meant to be?  Do I really need any reassurance?  Not so much! 

 

When you apply for a marriage license, you have to list all your past marriages and show proof of those. . .proof it happened and proof it ended in some way, divorce, death or annulment.  

In preparing for the upcoming wedding (only 3 1/2 weeks away!), Pete and I began the process of gathering docs so we could get our marriage license.  However, I ran into a little hiccup. . .with my life in boxes because of the remodel, I couldn't find my file that contained my marriage info.  So, I called vital statics to ask what I could do to get what I needed. . .in order to get a copy of the death cert, I would need a copy of  my marriage license.  Hmm. . .both are in the same missing file folder.  So I asked, how can I get a copy of my marriage license in order to get a copy of the death cert?  The reply?  I need my birth certificate. . . that also is in the same file folder that again. . .is missing!  How do I get a copy of my birth certificate in order to get a copy of my marriage license in order to get a copy of the death cert?  I need my social security card. . .you guessed it. . .in the same missing file folder. 

To sum up. . .I was to go to the ss office to request a copy of my ss card, once I received that, I needed to contact vital statistics in NY to get a copy of my birth certificate, once I received that, I needed to contact vital statistics in CO and get a copy of my marriage license, once I received that. . . then I could get the death cert.  REALLY???  Yea. .. that would only take until next June!

Being the "on top of it" girl that I am, I will surprise you by saying that I did NOT jump into action immediately.  Instead, I fell into my usual habits that Pete likes to call "last minute Annie" and I did nothing but I felt positive this would work out. . .somehow!  I must share with you though, Last Minute Annie usually works well for me.  The first couple of days, I did absolutely nothing to solve this problem.  Then one day while I was getting ready, I got the thought that I would look one last time for the file before I started jumping through all the hoops listed above! 

I cracked open the door to the storage closet and let out a depressed sigh. . .the closet was worse than I remembered.  But which would be easier?  Sorting through the closet or dealing with multiple government agencies?  Right, the closet.  I pushed through. . .my feelings and the mountain of junk in the closet and guess what I found?  THE FOLDER!  Holy moly. . .that only took a few prayers, a few days of procrastination and a few moments looking.  Not too bad! 

Bring on the next challenge of this wedding. . .this girl is up for it!

 

Finally. . . .we have decided on what we want to do for our honeymoon.  Just so you know, the honeymoon was a really big part of this whole thing.  Pete had said that one of the most important parts of the wedding is that we embark on a traditional honeymoon following the party.  So, we knew from the beginning that we would go somewhere, but where?  We both love to travel, we both want to see as much of the world as possible and we both want something active and adventurous. 

Also, something we both want is to learn to scuba, but would we have time given our very short 7 week window to plan a wedding, plan a honeymoon and learn scuba?  After callling around the anwswer was a resounding NO!  The classes didn't line up with our timeline.  Then Pete met a lady who is a scuba instructor and she was looking for a gun for her hubby.  Hmm. . .Pete has lots of guns.  Perhaps a trade could be made???  It also just so happens that the kind of gun he wanted, Pete owned 2 of. . .don't ask me what kind because I don't know or care!  Anything that gets a gun out of the house and teaches me scuba is AWESOME in my world!  So, a deal was struck. . .and Tina, our instructor is actually coming to our house to teach us scuba. . .does it get any easier than that??? 

Scuba, check!  Now. . .where to go?  Lot's of islands to choose from but many of them required a crazy travel schedule.  Do I really want to travel for 10 hours and 2 layovers to come home from my beautiful, relaxing honeymoon?  Not really. . .the island might be amazing, but I don't know if I want to need a vacation just because of the travel home!

Instead, we opted for a 55 minute flight. . .totally manageable!  We will spend out honeymoon scuba diving in the Bahamas.  Super casual, super easy and we get to begin our vacay so quickly.  I can not tell you how excited we are and how much of a relief it is to have the burden of that off our minds!

Now on to more wedding planning. . . less than 4 weeks to go!  WOW!

 

Can I just say that this was the best Tropical Storm/Hurricane I have ever been through!  As many of you know, my house has been under construction for several months.  It was not a planned remodel, instead a forced remodel that began with a flooded bedroom, moved on to toxic mold, followed by several rooms being gutted to bring us to present with being so close to completion.  For the last couple of months, I have been living in construction debris, construction dust and my life in boxes.  I thought I had been coping quite nicely but in reality it was driving me crazy!  

With the impending Hurricane scheduled to hit SWFL on Sunday night it created the necessity of clearing out the tools to make room for all the outdoor furniture.  Wowza, what a difference to have all the construction moved out of the house and the whole house clean!  I felt like a new girl!!  Amazing!  Reason 1 why I love Hurricane/Tropical Storm Issac. . . .it gave us a reason to put the house back in order.  Incidently. . .we didn't even bring most of the outdoor furniture inside, resulting in a nice clean house!  AAAHHHHH!

I woke on Sunday morning with Isaac still on path to hit us and debating whether I should spend the day putting up hurricane shutters or plan a party instead.  The majority rule on Facebook encouraged a party and that sounded so much better that it was easy to convince me to forget about the shutters.  But I had a day in a clean home with not much to do. . .so what should a girl do?  Tag along on a last minute shopping spree with a couple girlfriends, of course!  And where else would we go except the outdoor mall, in the rain. . .seemed to make sense to us! 

The intent of the trip was not to find a dress for me but I am always on the look out seeing that my nuptials are right around the corner!  I think we hit every store that remained open during the storm. . found some cute stuff for the honeymoon. . .Christy found a super cute top to wear for the wedding, so progress was made!  On our way out, we made a last minute decision to pop into BCBG to look for a wedding dress.  I walked in lacking faith because I had already looked online and I had checked out the store close to my house but what was one more store on the way out, right? 

JACKPOT!!!!  I found many, many beautiful dresses to try on.  My heart began to feel lighter at the idea of a wedding dress!  Christy took the position of authority and said. . . . grab them all and we are trying them on!  So, off to a dressing room I went. . . happily. . .I think I may have even skipped!!  The ladies asked if we would like some wine for this moment, white wine of course!  How could we possibly refuse???  Wedding dresses, friends and wine is an intoxicating combination!  Some of the dresses were hideous. . .to be expected but we came to love 2 dresses.  How to choose?  Obviously it would have to be a dress that was comfortable, one that I wouldn't hate by the end of the night, one that kept all the girl bits in place. . .but how to know?? Only one way that we could think of, bust out a couple dance moves, of course!  With Kristine, Christy and I lined up in front of the mirrored wall, we rocked the dressing area with a little Roger Rabbit, Running Man and NKOTB Hanging Tough!  Whichever dress could survive that. . .was the dress for me!  Success. . . we have a winner!!!  I do believe we actually held hands, jumped up and down and screamed. . . we are so girlie!!  I chalk it up to  reason #2 why I love Isaac!

For those that have had sleepless nights and panic attacks worrying about the dress and would I be able to find one. . .it is time to rest easy. . . WE HAVE A DRESS!!! 

This is going to be the best wedding/PARTY ever!!!  Can't wait!!

 

Life is flying by right now, I feel like I can barely catch my breath.  Let's see. . . the invite list is now up to a whopping 182 people.  Yikes!

But way more importantly. . .let's talk about the dress. . .it is a sad, sad story!  Simply put, I can't find a dress!  Mom and I went shopping and I found a dress that was simple and beautiful!  Unfortunately, they couldn't get it in until Nov 2.  Yea. . .that is not going to work for me.  The second dress I found would be in before the wedding. . .one day before the wedding. . . if there is ONE thing wrong with it, I wouldn't have time to make any alterations.  I don't think I am that brave.  Third attempt:  I found a fabulous dress online and was so very excited about it.  The morning after I placed the order I went online to look at it again.  Yep. . .that was the dress.  That same day, I got an email saying that it is out of stock and they are canceling my order.  I called to follow up, I thought that I have a few weeks to wait for it to be in stock but my dress efforts were thwarted again because it is out of stock indefinitely and there is not an estimated date that it will be in.   Attempts four and five:  I ordered 2 other dresses online. . I liked the dresses but I was a little more tentative about my excitement this time around.  Until I saw the package at my front door. . .   I felt like a kid on Christmas, or more accurately ME on Christmas when I ripped open the packages.  EPIC FAIL!  It is too awful to share with you how so very wrong these dresses were. . .really I am saving you from the horror of it all!  Both dresses promptly went back into the boxes and were shipped back to the vendors.  Grr!!!  Attempt number 6 should be here in the next few days.  Let's keep our fingers crossed!

I have helped several friends pick out their white dresses for the party yet I am unable to find one for myself. Dare I say that maybe this girl is not meant to wear white at her own white party?!?!   Yikes!

 

Wowza. . .how quickly things change!  So, my first post was about our wedding date. . .well, that has changed.  I guess it has changed for the good.  We had planned a small ceremony, just family and a big party the next day.  Well, Pete wanted to have more people witness the ceremony so we changed it.  We will now be getting married at the party. . .I am still not calling it a wedding reception!  But it gives a chance for all of our friends and family to witness the ceremony.  Still super casual, still a white party but a bit more traditional. 

Once we changed the date, my mom jumped in and suggested we change the location. . . .eek!  And here I thought by picking a date so close that once we made a decision, we were done!  Ha!  Nope!

So, in the last week, the date has change, the location has changed but now the invites are printed the invite list is complete (and huge) and I am done making decisions about the date. 

Now on to worrying about the dress!

As many of you know, I am a former blog writer. . .I chronicled my dating life and published it on the web for my followers all over the world.  It was a fun thing to do and I loved sharing the crazy happenings of my life.  Last year, I wrote my final blog and closed that chapter of my life.  

Well, well, well. . .now I have a new outlet in which to share.  A wedding blog!

First things first. . .after hearing we are engaged, the standard first question is "do you have a date?"  We FINALLY picked one.  After agonizing for weeks over dates and times and seasons and blah, blah, blah.  We picked it.  Now, if you have read through the rest of this wedding website, you already know that it is September 28/29.  I give you 2 dates because one is for a private ceremony and the second is for a rocking party to celebrate.  

Now, you may be thinking to yourself, why so soon?  But really we just decided, why wait?  And why make Pete live at his mom's house any longer?  So we picked it and that is our date.

It is not a date without some hiccups that we have learned about since picking the date.  Most importantly, the person who was going to marry us will be out of the country.  Oops!  

As I began working on this website that includes wedding details and registry info, I was presented with a ticker countdown to our wedding date.  52 days!  Eek!!!  What in the world were we thinking picking a date that is a mere 52 days away?  

Guess we better get planning. . .it's also a bonus that I am not a typical bride and he is not a typical groom.  Hopefully that will make the planning a little easier if we go with uncovention rather than tradition!

Keep you posted!