The short story is... it just evolved very organically.  We started dating, on the 3rd date he asked for a commitment from me that I stop dating others and only date him.  WOW... that sure floored me.  I remember telling Gina (now my maid of honor) that he would "get over it" and she could date him after me!!  LOL... too funny.  Well I agreed to the commitment to only see him with the idea that it would simply fall apart like my other relationships... after all... "that's what men do". 

But we were inseparable.  I had found not only a sexy, amazing, kind, sweet, gentle, patient, fun and loving man... I had found my other half.  Even my daughter Tara (so like me in so many ways) said "its almost like you are dating me mom!".  Well, it literally felt like I was dating myself... we just had everything in common and any small differences were negligible in light of the complete synchronicity of our overall relationship.

As I began searching for my own home... It just felt right to ask him to help approve the home since he was always with me he would be there a lot anyway. So, I moved out of my friends home and into my own place. Voila!  Suddenly "we" were setting up house together.  But we remained staunch in our mutual agreement that marriage was not for us.... for me "that marriage certificate was evil" and had not been good to me.  So we enjoyed the time together and slowly we began to make a life together....

One day Alex had a health issue and I mentioned I should just put him on my insurance.  Oh wait... that requires marriage.  I literally broke into tears.  I wanted him in my life, I wanted him healthy, but I was deathly afraid of that "piece of paper".  He gently took me in his arms and told me all was good and not to worry things would happen as they should.  Later as I shared this with my adopted sister Cindy... she scolded me (while empathizing from past horrible marriages also) but knowing in her new amazing marriage that when its right its right "Kimra, the paper isn't bad the marriages were bad because they were not the right person for you."  Still nervous about accepting something I found so abhorrent I went to Alex and suggested maybe we look into a domestic partnership or another means to a stronger commitment.

He agreed!  We started discussing what that might look like.  We made jokes about doing a fake proposal to fool all our friends on April 1st.... then suddenly in March 2016 in front of Cinderella's Castle, down on his knee he is proposing and suddenly our silly game was reality!  And I was over the moon happy.  I was going to get to marry and spend the rest of my life with the one person that understood me like no one on this planet ever has!

Being able to date Kimra was so unexpectedly satisfying.  After only 3 dates I realized I did not want to risk gambling what may be God’s answer to my prayers.  Yet, there was so much to consider and as she had said… we were at very different points in life. But yet if we just kept dating other people we may miss out on something very special.  We had both agreed that the connection we felt was very different from anything we had experienced.  So I took another leap and over lunch at a favorite restaurant I asked her to commit to seeing only me so we could explore our relationship in a deeper and more meaningful way.  And she agreed!

Having that commitment with Kimra was like having an exotic meal every day… she is fun, sexy, intelligent, witty and has the most amazing heart of love!  While our being together was so right for us, it did not come without its initial challenges.  Family and friends were surprised and questioned our authenticity; but our devotion to each other was without question.  Many changes evolved in each of us but that only brought us closer.  We even went to Kimra’s therapist together to confirm we were on the right track… she confirmed we were normal and healthy!  We both agreed that we were finally free to be our true authentic self’s!  Setting up house together was just another bond that brought us closer.

As our conversations turned more serious a stronger commitment was explored and we would often make silly jokes about it… but deep inside I knew WE were right together and however that commitment manifested itself it would happen when and just as it should.  Finally I was not only satisfied but I was confident in finding my life partner.  As Kimra noted… our silly game plan turned serious and we knew we wanted to share our lives together.  Proposing to Kimra was just another step in what was clearly our right path!